Primal Sex to Get Your Play On
Is your sex life feeling stale?
Stagnant?
Boring?
Maybe none of the above, but you’re still wanting to branch out and try something new. Bring some excitement into your sexual domain.
Well, then we’ve got some tips for you.
What is Primal Sex?
Primal sex can mean different things to different people.
Essentially it’s getting past the human idea of what you should and shouldn’t do, and moving from a more natural, uninhibited place.
Society plays a big role in how we behave in our sex lives. Depending on what you were exposed to or experienced, you might have all sorts of moral and ethical ideas around sex – what’s appropriate, what’s expected, what you should or shouldn’t do.
All of these things add up and tend to make an impact on our sex lives. People with vaginas tend to experience fewer orgasms, feel more self-conscious during sex, and may feel the need to prioritize their partner’s pleasure over theirs.
Primal sex is the antidote to that. It helps knock out all those ideas society has put into your mind, and gets you out of your head and into your body.
Primal sex and playfulness go hand in hand. They both bring you back to a very raw human state. One where you can feel on a deeper level, experience more pleasure, and just have fun!
Signs You Need More Playfulness During Sex
Intrigued?
One good indicator that you need more primal sex is that you’re reading this.
Didn’t mean to make you blush, but you know we have a point!
These are some other signs your sex life could use more primal playfulness:
- You’re bored with your sex life.
- You’re having trouble connecting with your partner.
- You want to try something new.
- You’re not getting what you want out of sex.
- You have a new sexual partner.
- You’re feeling self-conscious during or about sex.
- You just want to.
Now that you have the what, let’s talk about the how.
How to Practice Primal Sex
This is all nice in theory, but how do you actually practice playful primal sex?
We’ve got you covered.
Channel Your Inner ______
You fill in the blank.
Do you know what really gets you in your primal state? Channelling some sort of animal.
Before you get started, think of an animal you want to emulate.
Maybe it’s the ferocity of a tiger and you get a little wild with scratching.
Or you’re thinking of sharks and feeling like doing some extra biting.
Or you think of dogs that will wrestle at any time and hump each other unabashedly.
You don’t even have to tell your partner you’re doing this. But it might be fun if you do!
Try Something New
This might be a no-brainer, but an awesome way to be more playful in the bedroom is to break up your routine.
Try having sex in a new place, look up some new positions, incorporate some wild new toys like a sex swing, add in more dirty talk.
Ask your partner what would feel new and exciting, and tell them what’s on your mind!
Practice Playfulness Outside The Bedroom
Playfulness doesn’t just turn on automatically once you start getting down to business.
It’s something that’s practised regularly. Especially as it becomes less available to us as adults.
One of the best ways to have a more playful sex life is by playing with your partner in non-sexual settings.
This could mean getting outdoors and having an adventure, doing something that gets your adrenaline pumping, engaging in witty banter, playing lighthearted pranks on each other, splashing around in some water, or literally playing a game.
Foreplay starts way before you get to the bedroom. You’d be amazed at how much of a difference this makes!
Solo Play Time
While the play is often better with an *ahem* friend, it can be just as juicy when you’re by yourself!
You can still get primal and playful while masturbating or having solo sex?
How you may ask?
- Try a new toy: There’s nothing like the excitement of a new toy with different sensations to get you revved up.
- Switch it up: Do you always masturbate laying on your back on your bed? Time to try something new. Maybe you do it on the couch, or your floor, or even a sneaky car sesh! Even going on your hands and knees instead of your back, or sitting up can make you feel playful and excited.
- Get vocal: One of the biggest elements of primal sex is letting yourself roar, moan, and make noise when the urge comes up.
The Ebbs and Flows of Your Sex Life
Just like life outside the bedroom, your sex life has ebbs and flows.
Sometimes it might feel soft and sensual. Other times it might feel kinky and exciting. Or deep and tantric.
The point is, you might not always feel up for play, and that’s totally ok.
If you’re feeling stuck in the playfulness department, maybe a little push in that direction would help, as long as it’s still within your boundaries.
At the end of the day, sex is a release and a way of connecting, but it’s also a practice.
If this primal sex stuff is feeling foreign to you, give it a few tries. While practice doesn’t make perfect when it comes to sex, it can certainly make it more enjoyable.
If it’s not for you, it’s not for you – that’s ok too!
Natasha (she/her) is a full-spectrum doula and health+wellness copywriter. Her work focuses on deconstructing the shame, stigma, and barriers people carry around birth, sex, health, and beyond, to help people navigate through their lives with more education and empowerment. You can connect with Natasha on IG @natasha.s.weiss.